Piss Off, Ghost

[st_allionofdoom]

When the polite knock came at her door, Valkyrie was there waiting beside it to open it in short order.

"You came." She gave him a thin smile and a little cock of the head--the subject of her ire fretting about in the background, popping in and out of view. Every reverberating phrase was like chicken scratch on the inside of Valkyrie's head. It did not cut deep but it was incessant. Valkyrie rolled up the sleeves of her loose sweater and stepped to the side to allow her guest entrance to a one-ghost-woman choir of grumbling at the male presence.

"This is a friend of mine. He'll be joining us for the afternoon." Valkyrie's announcement fell on indignant, incorporeal ears but she announced it purely out of spite.

Comments

[st_ratagem]

“I did.” To increase the ghost’s annoyance, Loki waved at it as he stepped completely inside the room. It was a low-grade cruelty, but as he’d been invited to this very pink but otherwise inoffensive room specifically to perpetrate a higher grade, it seemed like a good start.

Valkyrie got a smile, though. “Before we get started, even if I throw her elsewhere, it will be temporary. Ghosts don’t stay banished any more than furniture stays broken.”

[st_allionofdoom]

"I'm not looking for her to be tossed elsewhere. I'd prefer if she stayed right where she was. As unmeddlesomely as possible for the next ten or so minutes." Valkyrie nodded towards Loki, certain he caught her drift. She had been content to simply gain some peace and quiet through some sort of magic that would seal her lips for the day, but then the ghost attempted to toss Dragonfang out of sight as it didn't mesh with the room's sensibilities.

A lesson needed to be learned.

[st_ratagem]

“Easily done.” It would be, too. Necromancy wasn’t a specialty of his, but in dealing with his own room’s ghosts, he’d gotten better at manipulating spirits.

A gesture, almost dismissive, wrapped green-glowing spectral chains around the female ghost, who shrieked anew at the indignity. The chains anchored themselves to the ceiling and the floor, to make sure the spirit was as immobilized as a fly in a spiderweb. Unlike the fly, though, he head was free: it was important that she be able to see whatever Valkyrie had planned.

Another gesture, and the ghost’s shrieking cut off abruptly, though its mouth stayed open for the moment. She thought she was still screaming, no doubt, but he’d taken her voice. “There. The chains should last an hour or so, the voice... at least that, ut possibly until dawn tomorrow. It’s always difficult to judge.”

[st_allionofdoom]

With an appreciative pat to the back of Loki's head, Valkyrie claimed an untouched bottle of rosé perched decoratively from the nightstand of the first bed--the ghost's bed. She knelt before the frantic spectre like one would to a naughty child and yanked the cap off.

"Of all the Nine Realms and all the souls I've guided to their glory in the cosmos, you have earned the title of most insufferable the moment you touched my things. So in return, I'll touch yours." She gave the spirit another little smile and a pleasant cock of her head. Besides the attempt at casting Dragonfang out, the breaking point was when her armor was nearly converted into a string of doilies. Really, Valkyrie admired this spirit for her gumption, if not for the utterly shrill and hateful disregard for what little she had.

Wrenching the cap off the wine, Valkyrie considered the contents for a moment before downing it in one breath. No, this lesson would require something stronger. She casually tossed the bottle over her shoulder and grabbed a Bacardi 151 off of the dresser. "I was told that everything reverts back to normal after a day. Is that right?" Valkyrie inquired of Loki.

[st_ratagem]

“You are!” he confirmed cheerfully, then settled cross-legged on the other bed. The one that did not, based on current events, seem about to be doused in liquor and set on fire. Yes, there was other furniture in the room, but this bed seemed least likely to suffer the righteous fury of the Valkyrie.

Or the unrighteous fury. Either way, it was going to be deeply enjoyable viewing.

[st_allionofdoom]

"Good." Permanent destruction was below her, even if while the goods in peril would return to form, hers would have not.

Gathering up the blankets, the pillows, the throw rugs and the sheets, Valkyrie piled them high in one arm to the peerless white tub and tossed them in, all while taking leisurely swigs off of the liquid that was 75% alcohol by volume. Emptying the bottle over each bit of cloth, she lazily swatted a scented candle off the windowsill right into her design. Very quickly, the tub became a colorful funeral pyre that reeked of rum and lavender. She simply stood by, glass in hand, and watched as it sent up shimmering sparks.

[st_ratagem]

Loki, from his vantage point, applauded. Better than setting the bed alight, really: this way, the fire was definitely contained and there was no stench of burning plastic hovering. He also, of course, twisted the chains to force the ghost to watch the lovely blaze as well.

She did not appreciate it, or Valkyrie, as much as he did.

[st_allionofdoom]

When the fabrics had burnt a sufficient amount, she cranked the water on. Steam hissed and consumed the view of the bathroom. Emerging from the mist, Valkyrie tossed the items about the room aimlessly.

"Décor." She regurgitated the phrase she'd come to hate over the past few days as she tossed each article, a melodic little cadence to her light murmur. "Décor over here. Décor over there."

When she was done, there were sopping, blackened bits of bedding and decorative linens every which where. Plucking a bit of perfume off the shelf, she spritzed the air as if to spruce it up, though it only added to the nauseating effect. Perfect.

"Right. She deserves a rest. Go on." Valkyrie nodded at Loki once to release her. The ghost seemed speechless in every sense at what became of the room deemed 'Elegance.' The resignation was apparent, even in her hazy eyes. "What have we learned about touching our roommate's things? Good girl. That's the way."

[st_ratagem]

Loki snapped his fingers. The gesture wasn’t even slightly necessary to dispel the chains, but he’d learned a long time ago that unless he was going for ‘that’s creepy’ (or creating illusions) it was best to tie action to some sort of movement. The chains popped out of existence, releasing the spirit, but he didn’t give her voice back.

It would return on its own, and he suspected ghostly weeping, should there be any, would be as annoying as spectral screaming about décor. “I suspect you don’t want to put yourself in line for a second lesson,” he advised the ghost, mock-kindly.

[st_allionofdoom]

The ghost floated to the untouched couch and pouted with little else to do, staring at the charred remains. Valkyrie pitied it little after giving it a ten-day grace period.

"You may have my bed for the night. I'm not without generosity." Valkyrie informed the spirit. She had little intention of sticking around for the stench, after all. Armor and sword mounted to her back, motioned for Loki to follow. "I'm headed for a walk. Clear my nose. Join me if you like."

[st_ratagem]

“I’m certainly not staying here.” Loki unfolded himself, slid off the bed, and followed her. Burned cloth stench and a pouty undead was far, far less interesting than clean air and fascinating company.

[st_allionofdoom]

Closing the door behind them, Valkyrie tapped her running shoes against the floor. She was still adjusting to the odd fit. The logo emblazoned in glitter along the side of it caught the light.

"Looks like I'm camping out tonight." She smirked, apparently unbothered. "A relief, really."

[st_ratagem]

“I’m not surprised, from the company you’ve been forced to keep.” Anyone would find anywhere else a relief. After a moment, though, he offered, “My room has three beds, you’re welcome to take one if you don’t fancy outdoors or whatever your plan was. Alternatively, if you asked Thor I’m all but certain Stark would agree to lend you his room for the night. Mind you, I’m not certain he ever got around to clearing out all the dead mice and cat vomit.”

[st_allionofdoom]

Stark. The man Thor was dating. She hadn't yet made his acquaintance, though she certainly didn't care to impose on a man who managed to apparently be an even bigger slob than herself.

"Fulfilling a request and offering me a stay in your chambers? Will I owe you double for this, Your Highness?" Valkyrie rolled her sleeves back down as they approached the door leading to the outside. It was getting to be chilly.

[st_ratagem]

Loki occasionally dressed for the chill to fit in, because he didn’t necessarily want it to be obvious that he didn’t feel cold, but not today. Mostly because he hadn’t expected to go out. Hopefully it wasn’t quite cold enough that slacks and a button-down shirt would be remarkable.

Not that he wouldn’t eventually have to have that conversation with her. “Two small favors or one medium favor. Or one small favor total, with the understanding that I do like a good revenge.”

[st_allionofdoom]

She surely must have been a great fool, willingly indebting herself to Loki, of all people. There wasn't a ready explanation for why she reached out to him without mulling it over, first. Loneliness? She didn't fancy herself the soppy type.

"I do wonder what service Your Highness has need of that I could provide." Valkyrie laced her fingers and gave a great stretch towards the sky as she wandered the stone path.

[st_ratagem]

“I don’t need anything from you, at the moment.” Need? No. Want... maybe, but Loki was used to ignoring a lot of that. Being owed a favor by the only Valkyrie left in the universe was likely to come in handy at some point. To himself if no one else, he had to admit that future usefulness wasn’t why he’d requested the favor; being owed a favor was a decent excuse to associate with her at least one more time.

The idea that the favor itself was the favor was one he didn’t care to think about and absolutely declined to speak out loud. “If I did, you wouldn’t have to owe me.”

[st_allionofdoom]

"Know this, Your Highness." Valkyrie motioned with her chin at the tall figure beside her. "Any attempts to hold it over my head will be met with a lesson in manners."

[st_ratagem]

“Hmm.” Loki tilted his head, considering. “Describe what such a lesson might look like. I’m curious.”

[st_allionofdoom]

"Your future self endured such a lesson." Valkyrie shrugged, the intrigue on Loki's end duly noted. Why not keep the mystery alive? "Consult him."

[st_ratagem]

“I can’t see the future, I’m not a witch.” It was intended to be informative, not a complaint. There were two ways he could think of to get the information. By far the easiest was goading Valkyrie into delivering the lesson, but if he didn’t mind possibly traumatizing Emma, he could see if she would be willing to consult her cards for him.

[st_allionofdoom]

"Chains were involved." Alright, just one hint. See what that took the imagination. 'Though this isn't quite the intended effect.'

[st_ratagem]

“Hmm.” Another speculative hum. Chains could be interesting... though of course there was little chance it had been, that first time he hadn’t gotten to yet. Loki was more than intelligent enough, more than self-aware enough, and possessed of enough Sakaar fact to realize he and the Valkyrie had not gotten along in her past.

A pity. Chains could have been promising. “I’ll bear that in mind.”

[st_allionofdoom]

"It wasn't a challenge." Valkyrie's breath was visible as they entered the shade of a large pine. She was petite enough that she hadn't needed to duck any branches. "If you find yourself in a predicament of your own design, I have no intentions of lying when His Majesty comes searching."

[st_ratagem]

Loki alternated pushing beaches out of his way and ducking, depending on the size of the branch. “You wouldn’t need to. My brother knows me well enough that it likely wouldn’t fool him if you did try.”

It suited Loki to protest his innocence sometimes, but on occasions when he specifically aimed for consequences he didn’t bother.